It has been way too long since i last posted here and for that i apologize. Mistress Denial has had my balls aching so badly the past several days it has been wonderful.
i had a day of "free reign" where i could do whatever i chose. In trying to make Mistress happy i chose to masturbate myself to the edge several times without reaching an orgasm. i think she was pleased but since then i have been paying the price without being allowed to reach an orgasm. i think perhaps next time i will let myself cum since i don't know how long it will be before i have that permission again.
Yesterday i was ordered to wear my ball stretcher all day. This is a new stretcher i purchased and i don't think it is made for all day wear as it is fairly bulky and i think it is a little obvious. i continue to be in all day meetings with the same woman that i have been meeting with for the past 4.5 weeks and yesterday i made sure i was there first and sitting down. Whenever we took a break i let her leave first and then a few minutes later i followed her out so she would not notice the bulge. This worked i am sure.
At lunch time with Mistress' permission i went to a "toy" store to purchase a less obtrusive ball stretcher and when i got there the store was not open. i have no idea why this is (probably the gods out to get me or something) so i was unable to make my purchase. i am heading back today to get the ball stretcher and also a cock cage Mistress wants me to get so that the next time i am made to wear a ball stretcher to work it is less obvious.
It has been almost a week since i last came and even the simple act of typing the blog has my cock erect and dripping. i love the way Mistress makes me feel.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Thursday, February 8, 2007
2/8/2007
No excuses but i have been so busy at work i have not managed to post in a couple days but what a couple days it has been. Mistress began Her game of chance on two days ago and the first task was that i was allowed to cum but i had to consume my cum. i know for a submissive this should not have been the first time i ate my own cum but for me this was a first. It was so exciting to know i was doing this for Mistress. i made myself cum in a glass and then very slowly first tasted just a tiny bit of cum. It wasn't too bad really for me it was the texture that i didn't enjoy. After that initial taste i proceeded to drink the rest of my cum down quickly. i did not enjoy this except the fact that i knew i was doing something i didn't enjoy and i was doing it for Mistress.
Yesterday in the game of chance the card drawn meant i had to hit my balls every 30 minutes. The game did not specify how many times i had to hit them each time so i decided to do it 10 times. Once i had set this mental number i committed myself to this. i probably should have chosen fewer hits. my balls are aching something fierce this morning it feels so good. i continue to work on a project at work which puts me in a meeting all day every day with the same woman. This adds to the excitement since she was aware of my getting up every 30 minutes and leaving the meeting. She probably thought i was not feeling well but suprisingly she never said anything. Towards the early afternoon walking normally was a bit difficult but i managed to get through the day without being obvious.
i am greatful for Mistress and Her mind and i continue to look forward to any tortures she bestows upon me.
Yesterday in the game of chance the card drawn meant i had to hit my balls every 30 minutes. The game did not specify how many times i had to hit them each time so i decided to do it 10 times. Once i had set this mental number i committed myself to this. i probably should have chosen fewer hits. my balls are aching something fierce this morning it feels so good. i continue to work on a project at work which puts me in a meeting all day every day with the same woman. This adds to the excitement since she was aware of my getting up every 30 minutes and leaving the meeting. She probably thought i was not feeling well but suprisingly she never said anything. Towards the early afternoon walking normally was a bit difficult but i managed to get through the day without being obvious.
i am greatful for Mistress and Her mind and i continue to look forward to any tortures she bestows upon me.
Sunday, February 4, 2007
2/4/2007
Well yesterday was an amazing day. It all began with Mistress telling me to get a locking cock cage by the end of the month and to send Her the key. As i explained in my post yesterday this worried me because i love the feeling of being on the edge and having my cock dripping almost constantly. Mistress would hear none of this and She told me it would do me good to not be able to get a hard on for however long She decided. This is Her decision to make and not mine so i will comply and purchase the locking cock cage by the end of the month. i still can not fathom this but i will soon find out what it is like to not have any control of my cock.
Yesterday Mistress also allowed me to torture my cock and balls for Her. She devised this wicked game that had me in my ball stretcher with a candle in front of me. i had to take myself to the edge 10 times and each time when i reached the edge i had to wave the tip of my cock in the hot part of the candle flame. The first 2 were not too bad although the flame was certainly hot. By the 5th edge my balls were aching and the tip of my cock felt like it was on fire. It was so sensitive from the edges and from waving it through the flame. It took all my will power to actually submit the very sensitive tip of my cock to the flame towards the end.
Today i can still feel the tip is a bit sensitive and it is a wonderful reminder of Mistress. i hope She continues to torture me in any way that delights Her. It is like a drug that i want more and more of. i long to receive Her tasks and i long to see what tortures She may make me inflict on myself.
Yesterday Mistress also allowed me to torture my cock and balls for Her. She devised this wicked game that had me in my ball stretcher with a candle in front of me. i had to take myself to the edge 10 times and each time when i reached the edge i had to wave the tip of my cock in the hot part of the candle flame. The first 2 were not too bad although the flame was certainly hot. By the 5th edge my balls were aching and the tip of my cock felt like it was on fire. It was so sensitive from the edges and from waving it through the flame. It took all my will power to actually submit the very sensitive tip of my cock to the flame towards the end.
Today i can still feel the tip is a bit sensitive and it is a wonderful reminder of Mistress. i hope She continues to torture me in any way that delights Her. It is like a drug that i want more and more of. i long to receive Her tasks and i long to see what tortures She may make me inflict on myself.
Saturday, February 3, 2007
2/3/2007
i am so nervous. Mistress Denial told me to go out and buy a locking cock cage this morning and to send her the key. She lives 3000 miles away so time between orgasms would be at a minimum a week since it would take that long to send the key back and forth.
What distresses me the most is that i love teasing and denial so much that this would take the teasing part away from me. my cock would not be able to get hard in the cage. This has always been the part of chastity that i have not understood. i want to keep my cock free from being locked up so i can stroke it all the time (when i am not being punished) and bring it to the edge of orgasm many many times before finally being allowed to cum. i love to feel my cock get hard all on its own because i am so horny the smallest thing arouses me. i love feeling it leak precum into my pants worrying if the spot will show through my pants and be visible to others.
i am hoping that Mistress will choose to take the other route with me and instead of locking up my cock she will decide that if i am to keep it unlocked then she is going to torture and tease it mercilessly.
What distresses me the most is that i love teasing and denial so much that this would take the teasing part away from me. my cock would not be able to get hard in the cage. This has always been the part of chastity that i have not understood. i want to keep my cock free from being locked up so i can stroke it all the time (when i am not being punished) and bring it to the edge of orgasm many many times before finally being allowed to cum. i love to feel my cock get hard all on its own because i am so horny the smallest thing arouses me. i love feeling it leak precum into my pants worrying if the spot will show through my pants and be visible to others.
i am hoping that Mistress will choose to take the other route with me and instead of locking up my cock she will decide that if i am to keep it unlocked then she is going to torture and tease it mercilessly.
Thursday, February 1, 2007
2/1/2007
Today is Thursday and i have spent the past 24 hours with a butt plug in my ass as part of my punishment for not completing Mistress' last assignment. Along with this She has not allowed me to stroke my cock for two days. This morning i was hoping that Mistress would again allow me to begin stroking my cock but that was not to be.
i am allowed to remove the butt plug but now must wait at least one more day before i may stroke my cock. It is amazing how much you take for granted and how much you don't relize what you miss until you no longer have it. i miss playing with my cock and balls and hope soon i am able to do so again.
i hope Mistress gives me the opportunity to try and prove i can complete Her tasks again.
Wearing the plug all day at work yesterday was a constant thrill for each step i took made me feel it and every time i sat down it was like i was fucking myself. i found myself rocking back and forth on my chair throughout the day which of course made me want to touch my cock even more.
i hope that Mistress will forgive me tomorrow and that She will once again allow me to play with myself at Her direction.
i am allowed to remove the butt plug but now must wait at least one more day before i may stroke my cock. It is amazing how much you take for granted and how much you don't relize what you miss until you no longer have it. i miss playing with my cock and balls and hope soon i am able to do so again.
i hope Mistress gives me the opportunity to try and prove i can complete Her tasks again.
Wearing the plug all day at work yesterday was a constant thrill for each step i took made me feel it and every time i sat down it was like i was fucking myself. i found myself rocking back and forth on my chair throughout the day which of course made me want to touch my cock even more.
i hope that Mistress will forgive me tomorrow and that She will once again allow me to play with myself at Her direction.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
1/30/2007
Yesterday morning i was given instructions by Mistress Denial to orgasm 4 times during the day with the last time being after i had shoved an ice cube up my bottom. i managed to orgasm two times before leaving for work and then a third time at work. The third time took me 20 minutes and it was at work. This constituted two firsts for me. The first time i had cum three times in one day and also the first time i had ever cum at work. Of course it is never as easy as one would want. While stroking at work several people came and left the mens room so i had to start and stop several times.
For the fourth time i was to orgasm i stroked as fast as i could but as Mistress probably expected the ice cube won the time battle and i was unable to reach an orgasm before the ice cube melted.
This morning when i checked my email i had the worst torture of all. No stroking my cock for two days. i would have preferred almost anything else but since i failed Mistress's orders i deserve whatever punishment She deems appropriate. i can only hope that the next time i receive an order from Mistress i am able to complete it fully. i know for a fact that i gave it all i had and will always do so when following any order given to me by Mistress Denial.
For the fourth time i was to orgasm i stroked as fast as i could but as Mistress probably expected the ice cube won the time battle and i was unable to reach an orgasm before the ice cube melted.
This morning when i checked my email i had the worst torture of all. No stroking my cock for two days. i would have preferred almost anything else but since i failed Mistress's orders i deserve whatever punishment She deems appropriate. i can only hope that the next time i receive an order from Mistress i am able to complete it fully. i know for a fact that i gave it all i had and will always do so when following any order given to me by Mistress Denial.
Monday, January 29, 2007
1/29/2007
Well it is the start to a new week and i can not believe how it is starting off. After a week of torment i finally get to cum. i was so excited when i checked my email this morning and found an email from Mistress Denial telling me to cum today. The catch, i think there will always be a catch, is that i have to cum three times and then at night i have to cum one more time. i have never cum 4 times in one day so this will be a challenge on its own. Add to that when i cum the fourth time i have to insert an ice cube in my ass and cum before it melts. i better find a big ice cube. :)
Mistress does not realize how challenging this is going to be since today i have to work from 9am until about 9:30pm. That means that if i want to have any chance of cumming before the ice cube melts i am going to have to cum at least one time at work. Oh my god i can’t believe how excited i am already.
Mistress is truly diabolical and i love it. i have a feeling my balls are going to be aching in a different way before the day is over.
Mistress does not realize how challenging this is going to be since today i have to work from 9am until about 9:30pm. That means that if i want to have any chance of cumming before the ice cube melts i am going to have to cum at least one time at work. Oh my god i can’t believe how excited i am already.
Mistress is truly diabolical and i love it. i have a feeling my balls are going to be aching in a different way before the day is over.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
1/28/2007
Yesterday at Mistress' direction i had to leave my cock and balls bound until 6pm. i probably should not have told Her i had to go to work or She probably would have let me untie them earlier. i think it amused her to know i would be working with a tied up erection. The most difficult part of having to work yesterday was that i was going in for a 4 hour meeting with a female and a male co-worker. i was nervous and excited to think she might notice my erection and i was also hoping that my cock would not drip. i probably should not have worn khaki pants.
At one point in the meeting when i was standing up i thought i saw both sets of eyes direct to my crotch but quickly dismissed that as paranoia. i sat back down as quickly as i could and glanced down at my crotch. i almost died. There was a very small wet spot. As i reflect back on this i am sure they did not see anything but i was sure embarrassed and excited at the time. i only wish i had only been in the meeting with my female co-worker.
Mistress had given me permission to remove the string from my cock at 6pm and She also graciously told me i could stroke my cock but that i was not to cum. As soon as 6pm hit the string came off. It felt so good to have my cock untied. my balls ached a little both from being tied up and from not being allowed to empty. i knew it probably wasn't a good idea to stroke my cock since i couldn't cum but it didn't matter. At that moment all i wanted was to stroke my cock. i grabbed some lotion and slowly stroked my cock. i didn't want to go too fast because i wanted it to last and i knew that i would not want to get to edge too soon. As it is it only took me about 3 minutes of very leisurely stroking to reach that place that feels so good. God how i wanted to cross the edge and feel my orgasm. Not willing to disobey Mistress' order i stopped stroking and tucked my cock back in my pants.
This morning had me waking up with a very hard cock that is dying to cum and also a pair of balls that still ache.
i am greatful for Mistress and the feelings She is causing me to experience.
At one point in the meeting when i was standing up i thought i saw both sets of eyes direct to my crotch but quickly dismissed that as paranoia. i sat back down as quickly as i could and glanced down at my crotch. i almost died. There was a very small wet spot. As i reflect back on this i am sure they did not see anything but i was sure embarrassed and excited at the time. i only wish i had only been in the meeting with my female co-worker.
Mistress had given me permission to remove the string from my cock at 6pm and She also graciously told me i could stroke my cock but that i was not to cum. As soon as 6pm hit the string came off. It felt so good to have my cock untied. my balls ached a little both from being tied up and from not being allowed to empty. i knew it probably wasn't a good idea to stroke my cock since i couldn't cum but it didn't matter. At that moment all i wanted was to stroke my cock. i grabbed some lotion and slowly stroked my cock. i didn't want to go too fast because i wanted it to last and i knew that i would not want to get to edge too soon. As it is it only took me about 3 minutes of very leisurely stroking to reach that place that feels so good. God how i wanted to cross the edge and feel my orgasm. Not willing to disobey Mistress' order i stopped stroking and tucked my cock back in my pants.
This morning had me waking up with a very hard cock that is dying to cum and also a pair of balls that still ache.
i am greatful for Mistress and the feelings She is causing me to experience.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
1/27/2007
What a night last night was. As ordered by you as soon as i returned home from work i sat down and closed my eyes and began to imagine You standing over me dressed in Your short black leather skirt, thigh length boots (i crumble for a Woman in boots), and PVC tied top. i began to stroke my cock nice and fast with this lovely vision in my head. my hand would stroke from the base of my cock right up over the head. In no time at all i felt myself getting close to the edge so i slowed down a little bit to prolong the image of You in my mind. As soon as i reached the edge i stopped stroking my cock and while it was extremely hard it was not dribbling very much precum. i knew you wanted me dribbling so i stroked to the edge again.
Now my cock had a nice dribble of precum on the head so i proceeded to tie up my cock and balls just as ordered. Nice and tight. This morning when woke up my balls were a little sore and my cock was still hard.
i am greatful that You allow me to follow your direction.
sub mark
Now my cock had a nice dribble of precum on the head so i proceeded to tie up my cock and balls just as ordered. Nice and tight. This morning when woke up my balls were a little sore and my cock was still hard.
i am greatful that You allow me to follow your direction.
sub mark
Friday, January 26, 2007
1/26/2007
Diary
Yesterday I was extremely fortunate and received an email from You (Mistress Denial X). i was at work when i read the email and immediately my cock went erect in my pants. As i read the email i swear i could feel my cock twitch in anticipation of what may come. Unfortunately for me it was only 2:30pm when i read the email. This left me with 3 hours left at work.
i work in a place filled with an amazing amount of young attractive ladies that all seem to dress the part. Even though it is an office environment it seems almost every woman enjoys pushing the dress code boundaries. As i would walk through the office all i could think about was the email i had just read and my cock seemed to never go down. i kept going back to your email to re-read it.
Getting home in the evening i set about gathering my toys so that i could take the photos required. This in and of itself created more arousal. Once i had the toys laid out i wanted so badly to cum but without permission i simply leisurely grabbed my cock and stroked slowly for a few minutes.
Finally with pictures taken it was time for a good night's sleep.
I awoke this morning with an erection and the first thing i did was open up and re-read the email. It is amazing how aroused an email can make a person.
I wonder what the future holds for me now.
Yesterday I was extremely fortunate and received an email from You (Mistress Denial X). i was at work when i read the email and immediately my cock went erect in my pants. As i read the email i swear i could feel my cock twitch in anticipation of what may come. Unfortunately for me it was only 2:30pm when i read the email. This left me with 3 hours left at work.
i work in a place filled with an amazing amount of young attractive ladies that all seem to dress the part. Even though it is an office environment it seems almost every woman enjoys pushing the dress code boundaries. As i would walk through the office all i could think about was the email i had just read and my cock seemed to never go down. i kept going back to your email to re-read it.
Getting home in the evening i set about gathering my toys so that i could take the photos required. This in and of itself created more arousal. Once i had the toys laid out i wanted so badly to cum but without permission i simply leisurely grabbed my cock and stroked slowly for a few minutes.
Finally with pictures taken it was time for a good night's sleep.
I awoke this morning with an erection and the first thing i did was open up and re-read the email. It is amazing how aroused an email can make a person.
I wonder what the future holds for me now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)